Whether you’ve dabbled in mind-body practices or you’re a seasoned yogi you have likely experienced the following:
“Ommmmmmmmmigod… okay breathe. Inhale… exhale…. Ommmmigod this is HARD… I can’t BELIEVE how tight that guy’s shorts are… okay focus…. Ommmmmm. Ommmmmmmmigod, I forgot to call my mom back… I am the WORST. DAUGHTER. EVER. Ommmmmmmmmmm my I can’t remember if I turned off the coffee maker this morning… I should really stop drinking coffee… is it okay to drink coffee AND practice yoga? Ommmmmmmmm. OmmmmmmmmmiGOD-I can’t believe how FAT my thighs look in these yoga pants.”
We are told that this is normal. We are told to just breathe, listen, and practice. We are told to trust the process… and with good reason – because it works. It’s worked for me, it continues to work for me, and I have the pleasure of watching it work for my clients and students every day...
… AND there are some very dangerous mixed messages out there.
Yoga is for small people. I am too often disappointed by the merchandise on display at yoga studios. Fishing through the racks can be frustrating enough with 98-dollar pants displayed, and when there is not a large-sized item in the mix, we’re entering a slippery slope. I work with a population of intelligent, high-functioning, successful clients who -on a day to day basis- struggle with the false belief that they are somehow flawed. “I’m not _________ enough.” We constantly tell ourselves that we’re not smart enough, not successful enough, not funny enough, not thin enough, and just plain-old not good enough. We come to the yoga studio to sit, practice, and connect in order to change this belief… and like I said before – it works. It does, however, take time. Breath after breath, we retrain our bodies and our minds to feel and believe that we are good enough… but what happens to the new practitioner, the anxious mother, or the compulsive eater who sees the tiny clothing and thinks: “well this clearly isn’t for me.” It is ironic and disappointing that the same environment that can (and will) heal these negative beliefs, can simultaneously present the mixed messages that fuel that inner critic.
Cleanses and detoxes. It is estimated that 1 in 3 of all dieters will develop compulsive dieting attitudes and behaviors, and that of these, one quarter will develop full or partial eating disorders. Client after client relays the same story: “I just wanted to get healthy. I thought I could lose a couple of pounds. Before I knew it my thinking and my eating became obsessive.” Most people who have eating disorders are not thin. They do not look unhealthy. Most of them are living very functional everyday lives, while at the same time, carrying around a secret. Sometimes the eating disorder symptoms – rigid eating, counting calories, compulsive eating, bingeing, purging, fasting, compulsive exercise –are managed for years. But like any addiction, there is always the potential for relapse. I recently met with a client who reported a full-blown relapse of bingeing and purging after trying a cleanse at her local yoga studio. For some people, the drastic change in diet, consumption, and nutrition can trigger obsessive thoughts about food, weight, diet, and in some cases - lead to more severe eating disorders. (For more reading on the potentially dangerous effects of a calorie restriction intake read up on the ‘Minnesota Semi-Starvation Study’)
Let me be clear - cleanses and detoxes don’t cause disordered eating or disordered thoughts about food just as the merchandise in the yoga studio doesn’t cause low self esteem. It is what it is, and for the most part – is usually presented with the most honest, genuine, and earnest intention – to help people.
Yoga CAN be compulsive Compulsive behavior is something that we feel like we have to do or that we should do. Nowadays, compulsiveness permeates most aspects of our lives – most of us engage, to varying degrees, of some kind of compulsive behavior regarding food, exercise, work, relationships or technology? Is it bad? Not necessarily. It can be, however, an obstacle to feeling present, grounded, and centered.
Yoga and mind-body practices promote bringing mindfulness, honesty, and non-judgment to all of our behavior. It’s about balance. Practicing yoga 2, 3, 4 times per day is not balanced. I’ve done the month-long yoga challenges, I’ve gone to hot-yoga triples, day long workshops, and week-long retreats. These experiences have been inspiring and transformational – and have served their purpose in helping my navigate through difficult times by focusing all of my attention on my yoga practice.
I have also learned just as much from slowing down, and from giving myself permission not to go to a class, and opting for a 20-minute home practice instead. I’ve realized that when I’m thinking too much about getting to the studio, which class to take, how I’m going to get there, and how many classes I have done this month, I’m not allowing myself to be present or grounded in my life.
I guess the take-home message here is that there is no prescription, no formula, no ‘right ‘or ‘wrong’ regimen of mind-body work. It is a life-long practice of learning to decide what works for you – right now. No one can tell you what is going to be the healthiest decision for you. We often look to yoga teachers, studios, and other healing agents for the ‘answer’ or ‘the way’, forgetting that we already have it. If we can use this guidance and support to increase our own self-awareness – then we are truly empowered.
written by Amber Barke
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